02 March 2008

[Soilwork/"Soilworker's Song of the Damned"]

I was actually going to post something earlier this morning, but changed my mind. I should be working on my Pool and English Papers, due Monday and Tuesday, right now. :)

You know how people are always asking if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, and then try to hook you up with someone who isn't your type and they & you both know this?

Well, this happened to me. And I don't like it, for the most part, when people try to hook me up. So I said I had someone. And that was blown out of fucking proportion. So I got on them....it's not their concern as to whether or not I have someone who's keeping me happy. And if not, that's more of a cause for them to hook me up with Denzel, a boy who every girl (who *might* hate me with a passion) likes trying to pair me up with. That's just fucking annoying.

It's like a game of Connect Four and the black player has three in a row and no matter where red goes he's in a fucked position. Say yes and these girls try to put you with someone. Say no and the same thing happens. Drop the red piece to the right, black drops to the left, and the game is won. Drop that red to the left, black to the right, and the game is still won.

So yea, I jumped down a few bitches throats and that might have cost me my job (which is NOT guaranteed because there are eight spots at the camp. I might not even work at the camp, and if that's the case that's even better because the girls in particular are working there (maybe. There are eight spots to be filled.). Maybe I will work at the family preservation center, better known as the FPC. And that's still fine because I love that place because the people are so friendly and everything. I loved what I did the last time I worked there, but hated the cost (one bus ride to and from where I lived with a bunch of kids. Some of them were really nice and did what they were told; others I had to wrestle in the seats just to get their seatbelts on. And afternoons were worse, so after this summer I'm basically done, I'm cutting my time short.). And I'm going to hate the cost this summer I'm thinking, but love what I'm doing. And if I'm working at the camp, well....I'll be breaking more than working and Christian Marchetti will be firing me for not doing my work. I mean, the work is easy at the camp, but you have to have extreme patience for it. I'm patient, but that patience runs away fast underneath a place you got the living shit kicked out of you (figuratively speaking) and lack of air-conditioning in most of the place (save for the art room below).

But anyways, reverting to my original point. Seriously, it's just better to keep your mouth shut (and if you do say you have a boyfriend, don't ever mention sex because then people will think you're a slut or what have you when you really might not be.) So....for your safety and reputation, don't mention that bit, no matter how true it is and will make every girl green with envy. You could, but you might get heartache that way.

I don't live for that kind of thing and if people tell Christian they can go right ahead, but I'll be damned if they twist the story up. He knows what I do, and how I do it. I don't normally jump down other people's throats (although I will admit on Tuesday I will be the AntiChrist, jumping down everyone's throats because I'll be too fried to communicate with anyone. So, if you know me, then expect that for a few days before my finals in June, which seems extremely close. :) That's just the person I am. Granted, I didn't get all bitchy last year, and I don't know why. Freshman year finals came and I was the fucking AntiChrist. I was mean, and I lost my patience a lot. I still remember the time it was me, my brother & sister; a soon to be camp counselor who, for privacy's sake, will not be named; and Christian (tis one of those things I can't understand.....) & we're on our way home, like right down my alleyway, and someone says something and because I'm studying for my impending Modern World Civilizations Final, I was mean. Something we all get over. 

And going back still, I don't normally outburst like that unless you're asking me a really stupid question.....right after I said that I didn't know.

I ask if there was an intermission in this play I was going to see, and Chris is like was there one last year (it was at McCarter Theatre, every year they do A Christmas Carol and, for one reason or another, I did not see the 2006 production (or the year before that for that matter), so I asked if there was an intermission, and he asks me like I know. It's like...."I'm asking you because I don't know. If I knew I would not have asked." So fine, that was a shit example, but I don't exactly care about shit examples at the moment. Like...that was just stupid, you know? Completely stupid. I don't know.

Now I'm just going to close this by saying the following:

Keep your nose out of my private life. It's not yours to follow unless I give permission. And even then you better keep your mouth shut.

Ignorance is not bliss......no matter what people say. Going through live oblivious, no matter how neat it sounds, is not worth it in the long run. It just isn't. How can you go through life oblivious is beyond me.

You're no better than me, and I'm no better than you. Anyone I know who thinks like that should expect a crucifixion. We all bleed red, we all breathe the same air, don't we? You're not up on pretty fucking pedestal, because I'll be the one that brings you down and leave you for dead.